Recommendations to Make Higher Connections - Part II
In Part 1 (read it here), I said I wanted to help you make more money. That will come from being in a state of Higher Connection. And, there is much here that transcends the almighty dollar.
My connections were almost instantly transformed by what I had learned up to where I left off in Part 1. As I had begun to more fully understand and apply that knowledge, my “way of being” shifted. What I learned from Dr. Danco and put into practice was pure magic. It changed my professional life dramatically.
I use the word “shift” to mean I changed the way I was inside, and the way I approached conversations with prospects and others. It was huge on one hand, but definitely only “Better Connector 101” level. Over the 25 years that followed, I have learned a good bit more. That includes my Masters work in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica. Today, here is how I see Higher Connection.
That baggage always stands in our way. From a place void of it all, the world looks much different. And, the world will see us, in an instant, much differently as well.
First is how we are with ourselves. It is about being clear inside. To truly get there, can take years. The thing is, we are all having conversations with ourselves all the time. Oftentimes, those conversations are not all that good. We are playing through our own baggage. Fear, stress, unworthiness, neediness, boredom, doubt, frustration, fatigue, distraction – whatever it is. That baggage always stands in our way. From a place void of it all, the world looks much different. And, the world will see us, in an instant, much differently as well.
Second is how we are with others. When I sit down with someone, I hope to be as present as I am describing right now. I want to get clear with myself ahead of time about why I will be there, and then let that go. I don’t spend time rehearsing what might be said and how I might react. When I am with the person, I don’t want to think about myself or my objectives. I want to serve. I want to see them and hear them. I want to see into their Soul. I want to see their good and care about them. All I know is about understanding them and helping them. From this place, I am relaxed and confident. I know good things will flow.
The third is how we say it. About 99% of the cats out there are fundamentally “presenters”. We listen as well as we can. We learn to ask questions. But, we can’t wait to tell them about our own special X. I mean X - is in there screaming to get out. Most of us can’t wait, and don’t. The skilled have created more patience and can ask more and listen more, before spilling out their X.
Dr. Danco used to tell me “Never speak, just grunt." Pretty good advice, if you take the meaning. The real point is that our X is probably unimportant. Our need to tell the X story will almost always get in the way. I don’t want to be a presenter. That involves too much pressure anyway! I want to be that guy that causes the other person to feel deeply understood. I want to see inside him or her and let him or her know I care. I want to be vulnerable and not fret over my own “imperfections”, mistakes or stumbles. I don’t care. I want to care about him or her, and serve, serve, serve.
Recommendation #1: Prepare in a new way for an upcoming meeting. Consider what is going on inside. This is real quiet time, inner work. Are you happy, stressed, afraid, needy, busy? What are your thoughts behind those emotions? Getting that cleared permanently takes time and work. However, go into your next meeting as clear, free, and at peace inside as you possibly can.
Recommendation #2: It’s all about him or her, and only about him or her. Be ready to see her soul. Be the person it just feels good to talk to. The person that truly cares, listens, inquires, understands, and leads to discovery. You can’t fake it. And, this is way beyond asking open-ended questions or the other basic tools.
Recommendation #3: See the opportunities to serve. They may not be the ones you have on your agenda. They are there, unless you’ve met the one that truly has everything wired. (A little secret: That dude doesn’t exist.) We all want to be heard and understood. Filling that basic need opens up a powerful gateway to serve the other person. From this place of being clear inside, seeing the other person as a divine human being, forgetting my own spiel, and just being there to understand and serve…… Yeah, I am pretty sure the results will speak for themselves. Higher Connection! Good things will follow.
Let me know how I can serve you! Feel free to reach out and share your thoughts or questions. I always enjoy those.