Escaping Moderate Success - Part 8
I intend to explain exactly why people can’t change. And, how you can create anything you want, starting right now! First, below is a rundown of the blogs in this series.
Part I – The trap is a level of success so demanding you can’t get through it to the full success.
Part II – That full success is the life that makes us feel so good we can’t stand it. Lot’s more of the good and way less of whatever it is we don’t want.
Part III – Creating more by doing less.
Part IV – The hard way paralyzes us.
Part V – Getting out of the brown box.
Part VI - The Big Dream.
Part VII – Getting Out of Your Own Way.
Part VIII – Status quo inside = status quo outside. Owning your new inside picture = game over.
Get Clear on Your Goals
The ultimate goal for all of us is to be happy. We serve more powerfully, are a more positive force in our families, and can create everything we want, to the extent we first get our own internal houses in order.
Let’s say you are financially successful. You want to continue to move forward, and that’s great. Call that Goal #2. Most people live like that is Goal #1. But, they know it really isn’t. They just don’t know how to create through clarity.
Goal #1 is to live in peace, not stress. To feel purpose and fulfillment. To be excited every day. To see and hold little moments of joy throughout the day. To experience life as we want to experience it.
Here is where you start to go wrong. This is the confusion. You think if you can get Goal #2 under control, Goal #1 will take care of itself. The truth is exactly the opposite.
You have a really successful business. There are a lot of things just great about that. But, there is a lot directly in the way of your true Goal #1. You work too hard. You don’t have a lot of peace. You have 100 things you’d like to do, change, get to. And, 27 new headaches popping up every day. You fight the battle. You feel good about the battle. You’re a highly successful entrepreneur.
Of course, this is also your personal life, outside of the company. How you are “forced” to spend your time. Relationships. Your ability to go on vacation and truly check out. Your ability to simply be in the moment, and not have those little voices nagging at you.
So, let’s say your Bright Shiny Star, the life you’d truly like to have, is built on both Goals #1 and #2. How do you create it? Goal #2 of course! NOT! The fundamental flaw is the belief you can fix it from the outside in. If you can get the new career, get the hiccups at the company squared away, lose 30 pounds, whatever it is. Then, you will feel good. You will have Goal #1 under control.
I am here to tell you that just won’t work. That is trying to do it backwards.
IF YOUR HAPPINESS IS DEPENDENT ON EXTERNAL CONDITIONS, YOU ARE SCREWED!
Those external conditions are going to change. You’re going to stress and strain your whole life as those external conditions go in and out of favor. You get a new boss. Your spouse doesn’t behave the way you want him or her to. The kids become teenagers. Business problems. Even if you could get everything just right on the outside, that is only for a point in time.
We can only create from within. Whether we’re talking about growing cash flow or finding a mate. Whatever our outer activities and creations, the outcome is a direct reflection of what’s going on inside.
Stepping into Power
Let me say that in a different way.
HOLDING STATUS QUO ON THE INSIDE GUARANTEES STATUS QUO ON THE OUTSIDE.
Say you’re just a typical tall guy who likes to write life-changing blogs. Let’s say I’d like to lose the 15 lbs. of body fat I have been carrying around for 20 years, get in good shape, and feel 10 years younger. (Oh shucks, the cat’s out of the bag now. Oh well….) Of course, I can do that. But, I haven’t. Why not? What hasn’t worked? Not in enough pain, for one thing. I am in pretty good shape. Not a complete failure, I go to the gym a few times a week. I try to watch what I eat a good part of the time. I’ve been focused on business. I haven’t done nothing. But, what I have done, in this particular category, is a first-rate job of promoting mediocrity! Most unlike me.
During my morning process a few days ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been holding status quo inside of myself. When I sat down and really poured it out, I found out what I already knew. I had been thinking of myself as the guy who is healthy. In OK shape. Tired at the end of the day. Who nibbles around the edges of getting in shape. I had been holding inside of myself exactly who I have been. As a result, I have been exactly who I was holding inside of myself.
Forget that! I know better. What a great opportunity to grow. I made a decision to not see myself that way. I made a decision to be within myself that leaner, more energetic guy. I am not talking about positive thinking or some goofy rah rah. What I am trying to express is knowing a new identity.
From where I was, I would have just kept dabbling around. I know exactly what I would have done, because I have about 20 years of fitness futzing as concrete evidence. What do you think happens when I create from within? What happens when I truly have my new truth? You think I might become committed? Clear? Excited? You think I might be able to actually take the steps? The steps become the easy part. When we create the change we want on the inside. When we truly sinking into it and it becomes our knowing. Game over. Like I tell people all the time, that train is going and we know where it is going. We just have to get on the train.
Conversely, just to drive this home, if you are status quo on the inside. You are too busy, too afraid, whatever it is. Well, get ready for status quo on the outside. That is the opposite of change. The truth is, change does not have to be hard. Creation comes naturally. You just have to know how to enable it to drive forward from its own energy.
My little true confession story is for you. It is for your better career, peace, business transition, thriving family – whatever it is you want to create!
Recommendation: See clearly the change you want in your life. That alone is growth. Evolution. See something so big you will walk through life differently. Get really clear on that new creation. Own it. Commit. Stay in the place where you know you are the guy or gal who is that. Who is creating that thing.
With that internal knowing. With that internal first creation. True commitment becomes a matter of course. The power of what is inside of you will instruct your actions. Those inspired actions will create your results.
I am able to take a few new clients each quarter. If you would like to explore possibilities for defining and creating the change you want in your life, business, and/or career, I am open to a conversation.